Grumpy Bird Reviews: Thor #4

Oh my God! Mary Jane kissed Thor! She kissed him! Right on the lips! Two tickets to tounguesville for Mary Jane and Thor! Yowza. Nobody tell Peter.

thor__4_cover_by_rdauterman-d83pgptThor #4

Writer: Jason Aaron

Artist: Russell Dauterman

Publisher: Marvel

Plot Overview:

Thor gets an arm. Then fights Thor. Then the bad guys get away. Then we all learn a little something about life.

Analysis:

A lot of this issue is told from the perspective of Thor, who we are supposed to call Odinson now. Maybe I’ll get there. But because of that I didn’t really get to feed my belief that Lady Thor, who we are supposed to call Thor, is really Mary Jane Watson, which I do believe is the best part of this comic. No, really, I think it is.

Maybe I’m being harsh, but nothing out of issues 2-4 was really important or impressive. We get a new Thor who immediately gets into a battle to save other heroes to show how cool she is. Then we get the movie villain appearance and the villain the writer really wants us to think is awesome. Then Mr. Thor shows up to fight. This is a comic book with a hero vs hero fight? What do you think happens? Think about it for 10 seconds. Your answer? Close, but this time the villains get away as further proof that these issues served no real purpose. Basically this is an after school special.

Actually, just as I read this I realized what this is. This is opening chapters to Bridge to Terabithia. That is a great book and the first book that ever made me cry. It begins with a boy who is about to become the fastest runner in his class. Then a girl shows up and she is the fastest. The boy is so angry! But then he gets to know her and they become friends. And then the book makes me cry.

Other than the crying part this is basically the point of these issues. And it really slogs down the story. It is just so trite and reminiscent of far to many stories. There is nothing original or new to see. It all boils down to the panel where Mr. Thor and his mom and the Avengers are staring at an off panel Ms. Thor talking about how awesome she is. I can hear the cheaply recorded swell of music that goes along with it. It really is an awful panel. But don’t worry, the whole page is bad. We get the Thor and Odinson division in just clunky, heavy-handed dialogue.

The Dauterman art is pretty. But at this stage it almost does’t matter, because I keep reading the words.

I really hope next issue starts a new arc so that there can be some character development that isn’t just to wedge in the character shift. Because I want fun adventures with Mary Jane Thor and all I’ve been given is glorified exposition and a press release. Yes, Mr. Thor is unworthy and Ms. Thor is here. That was revealed before issue one. Thank you for milking that in all the most obvious of ways. Please get back to telling decent Thor (of any gender) stories.


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