Something new happened this morning. Leo, my son, cried when I left for work.
I like to consider myself pretty active as a father. I try and do what I can to take care of my little guy. But since I work and the Mrs. is currently on childcare leave it is pretty safe to refer to her as the primary care giver. I don’t want to state it as strongly as he prefers her, yet, but when he is sleepy or weepy he tries to get to her over me if she is around. I can be a nice second place in those occasions, but mama’s special.
Pretty much every morning when I leave for work Leo is up and playing. So, pretty much the last thing I do before I go is give him a little hug and kiss. In return I get a big smile and maybe a joy squeal.
But today, for the first time, when I put on my jacket and started the goodbye process, his eyes grew wide and his mouth trembled. Little tears fell as my boy grabbed hold when I gave him his hug. He didn’t want me to go to work. It was adorable but made it that much harder to head out.
I’m trying my best to be there for him and for my wife, but our schedules have made the past two weeks pretty trying. I feel like I am either at work or looking after him until he falls asleep. And it is exhausting. I needed something to help get me through the next few days until we are back on our normal routine. I though what I needed was a day of pure rest. Instead, this morning, I was shown that my boy is sad when I have to go. And that knowledge alone might get me through the weekend.
Still, I wouldn’t turn down that day of rest.