Can I Do It?

I look over this site and it reminds me how absent I have been this year. Life has demanded my attentions elsewhere. Work has increased my class load (which did come with a nice bump in paycheck, to be fair) and I have taken an active stance in improving my availability to home and family.

Both of those areas have been rewarding. No doubt. But I also feel that my creative side has been fairly malnourished this year. I haven’t put as many words on paper as I would like, either on this site or in future works.

And the truth is, I can’t blame it all on being busy in other places. There have been several days where I just felt a reluctance to commit myself to writing. I would spend an hour on a click game on my phone, or in scrolling through Facebook, or just wasting time watching reruns of shows from my teenage years. Basically, I was looking for anything to do as long as it wasn’t constructive.

I look back at this year and feel I should hang my head for the lack of forward motion. And now, here I am trying to make up for it. From the time I started writing this I knew I had a grand total of 45 minutes to get my thoughts down and upload them to the site. The reason for that limit is because in 50 minutes I need to be heading out the door to go pick up my son from daycare and after making sure he is happy and fed the there is slim possibility that I will have the mental energy to get words on paper tonight.

(By the way, is it odd that I still think in terms of “words on paper”? After all, I’m typing on my computer for a website. The likelihood of this ever seeing paper is teeny-tiny and yet I still think about it as words on paper. I even think of the act of writing as turning white paper black, you know, because of the ink. Am I old fashioned or just old?)

But, for a touch more than a week I actually have time. Time to write. Time to work on my third novel. Time to finish The Outing. Time to revisit King and Bard. Time to continue my vampire podcast. Time to create. I’m scheduling my time and to accomplish what I want, I’m going to to need a few 10k word days. It is a challenge to myself to make use of the time I have.

And the question I keep asking myself is “Can I do it?”

We’ll find out.

Plum tree in spring snow

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