Ugly Jealousy

Do you every feel it?

You’re working hard, doing your best, trying everything you can to make your mark and get noticed. You start to feel that purchase of a little bit of traction. You feel you are making progress.

And then you look over. You see someone else. The seem to be fresh out of the gates and already it seems they are more noticed, more followed, more seen than you are.

So maybe you try harder. Redouble efforts that are already straining. And maybe you do see a few more hits, or likes, or comments, or maybe even sales. Or maybe you see the opposite. Maybe you see the pendulum swing the other way.

It is so easy to feel the pressure of negativity. To want to growl and rage and whine  about who deserves what. And maybe you even feel that pull to be snarky on whomever it is that is having the easy ride down the path your struggling.

But then you look to your other side and you see someone else who is giving you that same stare that growls “why do you have it easy?” You realize that to some you are the lucky one. You are the one who has the easy path. That right now you are where someone else wants to be.

And then another truth comes to your mind. That person you were judging for having that easy road, you rally don’t know anything about their struggles, or how hard they are working behind the scenes. All you know is that it is working for them, at least from where you are standing. And rather than be negative about another’s success, you should stand up and applaud. They are getting it down.

Because there is almost always more success out there. And it feels so much better to be happy for someone than to drag yourself to some lower place.

And there is no real reason for me to use “you” here. Maybe you recognize these same feelings, but this is a message for myself as much as for anyone else. Probably more so.

I don’t want to be negative or jealous, but sometimes it just bubbles up and then I need to find a way to center myself and refocus that negative energy back into the act of creation where it will be useful.

But, yeah, jealousy hits me. So I want to know:

Do you ever feel it?

 

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